so my friend jim posted this picture on his facebook this week:
and while i detest and do not support bullying of any kind and i feel bad for kids who have been bullied... i helped kids who were bullied in my school as much as i could... however, there are some things that need to be said to go ALONG with this. so the picture got me thinking and really, i agree. this was my response:
i know that not everyone has the ideal home life. i also completely understand that some children have no other way to get out their feelings then by being jerks or acting out in certain ways. i understand that some kids have extenuating circumstances and that is the only way they feel they can protect themselves or make things better. my point was not to say that bullying isn't serious. on the contrary, i know its a problem and i think parents need to be doing everything they can to prevent their child from hurting that much. if it is severe, parents should be the first on the scene to correct it.
my point is not that kids are weak, but more so that parents need to be strong for their children and teach them to be strong. and for a large part of it, children need to be encouraged to try and deal with things as an adult, so they can press on through life because life is hell sometimes. however, i also think some children are overly diagnosed with "issues" when in fact, a lot of problems start at home with lack of discipline and correction. there are always extenuating circumstances and that's why i think the picture is absolutely spot on, but it should not be the end all, there needs to be some responsibility and pressure put on parents as well.
obviously i am not an expert on things. :) i'm always looking to expand my views on things. that is why, the picture is definitely true - you have no idea what the person is going through and they may just need a hug or some contact from another human being.
people need to be talking about bullying and finding ways to encourage kids to not be bullies. and to find ways to encourage kids who have been bullied to seek out help without the fear of being ridiculed and without fear of being told to 'buck up.' i think it should be taken more seriously in schools, parents need to step up and make it stop early before it gets worse. granted, like i said, sometimes kids need to be put through the fire a bit so they can grow. but in severe situations that are ongoing and only get worse, then for sure parents need to step in, teachers need to step in, authorities need to step in. and most definitely, teachers need to be aware of what is happening in their classrooms.
my views on kids feeling like they are entitled is also directed towards kids who bully. if parents take control and discipline their children, and teach them to be better, then hopefully the youth will start turning in the other direction and stop bullying. :) i do know bullying is awful. it truly is. i had kids tell me they were going to beat me up after school. my niece was told on the school bus that they were going to rape her and beat her up. so, i definitely understand how awful it is. i don't want to make light of it. so i want to clarify that my ideas towards child entitlement attitude goes both ways. and kids bully a lot of times as a learned behavior. some kids learn to be bullies from their parents. and that is heartbreaking.
i want to express vehemently that bullying needs to stop.
but i hold fast to the fact that its really important for parents to instill respect and care for others. it is so important that parents be involved in their kids lives, as much as possible. if and when i have a baby, i will take that job more serious than i've taken any other job in my life. because i will be responsible for raising a well rounded, awesome person. i don't want to be a part of the problem, i want to be a part of the solution. just my thoughts. especially since school does start up soon. many blessings. thinking of babies a lot today. <3 hopefully one day...
"Teaching kids to be a nice and caring person to people is also the job of the parents. Teaching them to care for people regardless of who they are, what people say about them, and just be a decent human being. Parents are letting everyone else but them, raise their children. I'm a nanny and have seen some parents just give me all the responsibility. This leads to no accountability when I wasn't there. Which leads to a confused child. Parents typically say, I don't know where my child went wrong. Or I didn't know they were so troubled. Most of the time its from lack of communication and having a close relationship with your kid from an early age. Yes I know sometimes kids freak out and have mental issues, but that is not necessarily the case for everyone. Too many kids have an entitlement attitude.
Thankfully, I work for family now and I know my brother and his wife take their jobs as parents seriously. They don't treat being parents as if its another trophy on the wall because its their right, but as a blessing and responsibility to produce helpful awesome people who will hopefully help the world. If and when I'm able to have babies, my child will know what failure is. He/she will know that regardless of their failures, I will love them and be there for them. They will know that sometimes, I said no just because and deal with it. They will have schedules and routines and I will do my hardest to grow them into awesome people who respect authority, respect people, respect themselves. Too many kids feel they are entitled. I'll be hanged if I am the reason they get that attitude. (off my pedestal now. Carry on.)"
so that's been on my mind. i'm thankful to have been raised to respect people, to care for people, to know right from wrong (even though, on many occasions growing up because i was stupid, i did the wrong thing), to be open and honest, and to love no matter what. i'm thankful i was not coddled, i'm thankful that my parents told me no. i'm thankful that i had responsibility and had things taken away if i acted up or got into trouble. i am thankful my mom was there for me as much as possible, i'm thankful that my dad worked hard to provide for the family.
i know that not everyone has the ideal home life. i also completely understand that some children have no other way to get out their feelings then by being jerks or acting out in certain ways. i understand that some kids have extenuating circumstances and that is the only way they feel they can protect themselves or make things better. my point was not to say that bullying isn't serious. on the contrary, i know its a problem and i think parents need to be doing everything they can to prevent their child from hurting that much. if it is severe, parents should be the first on the scene to correct it.
my point is not that kids are weak, but more so that parents need to be strong for their children and teach them to be strong. and for a large part of it, children need to be encouraged to try and deal with things as an adult, so they can press on through life because life is hell sometimes. however, i also think some children are overly diagnosed with "issues" when in fact, a lot of problems start at home with lack of discipline and correction. there are always extenuating circumstances and that's why i think the picture is absolutely spot on, but it should not be the end all, there needs to be some responsibility and pressure put on parents as well.
obviously i am not an expert on things. :) i'm always looking to expand my views on things. that is why, the picture is definitely true - you have no idea what the person is going through and they may just need a hug or some contact from another human being.
people need to be talking about bullying and finding ways to encourage kids to not be bullies. and to find ways to encourage kids who have been bullied to seek out help without the fear of being ridiculed and without fear of being told to 'buck up.' i think it should be taken more seriously in schools, parents need to step up and make it stop early before it gets worse. granted, like i said, sometimes kids need to be put through the fire a bit so they can grow. but in severe situations that are ongoing and only get worse, then for sure parents need to step in, teachers need to step in, authorities need to step in. and most definitely, teachers need to be aware of what is happening in their classrooms.
my views on kids feeling like they are entitled is also directed towards kids who bully. if parents take control and discipline their children, and teach them to be better, then hopefully the youth will start turning in the other direction and stop bullying. :) i do know bullying is awful. it truly is. i had kids tell me they were going to beat me up after school. my niece was told on the school bus that they were going to rape her and beat her up. so, i definitely understand how awful it is. i don't want to make light of it. so i want to clarify that my ideas towards child entitlement attitude goes both ways. and kids bully a lot of times as a learned behavior. some kids learn to be bullies from their parents. and that is heartbreaking.
i want to express vehemently that bullying needs to stop.
but i hold fast to the fact that its really important for parents to instill respect and care for others. it is so important that parents be involved in their kids lives, as much as possible. if and when i have a baby, i will take that job more serious than i've taken any other job in my life. because i will be responsible for raising a well rounded, awesome person. i don't want to be a part of the problem, i want to be a part of the solution. just my thoughts. especially since school does start up soon. many blessings. thinking of babies a lot today. <3 hopefully one day...
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