so i have been wanting to start writing again, to get my creative juices flowing and to give my thoughts a much needed place to rest. however, i didn't start on the first of january like i had planned and next thing i know, january is half way over. how the heck do these things happen? life just seems to zoom lately. my level of busyness hasn't really increased nor am i doing much to really make time fly by so quickly. in fact, i drive less now that we moved. oh did i forget to mention that? we moved. again. gotta love not owning a house, being poor and not having a sense of permanence for longer than a year. le sigh. oh well. we'll get there some day... either here in the states or in hong kong.
our new home is nice. larger than our last place, however, i do miss the awesome stove i had at our previous abode. other than that and a few little quirks here and there, i enjoy the new place we live. especially since its literally less than 2 miles away from my brother's house (where i work) and the backyard is huge and monster truck has been on such great behavior since we moved here. the cat loves it too. first thing she did was get out of her cage, sniff around a little, and rolled around on the ground. that's a big deal considering at our last place, it took her 2-3 days to get used to everything and to stop growling and hissing at us. interesting. i'm glad the babies are happy. bud is happy too, so all that makes me happy.
as of late, my heart has been in such a state of melancholy. small things are bothering me, i'm becoming increasingly sensitive to things that would not have phased me in the past. my desires feel so great, yet i don't know how to reach them. i know i am called to pray and seek the Lord's guidance, and i do. i know that the things that i long for are in HIS perfect timing and that no matter what, He will receive glory for it and that is all that matters. i'm just having a hard time holding onto these evident truths at all times. my flesh creeps in. my insecurities stand in front of me. even writing about my sad heart makes me sad because i know that i am the Lord's and everything else is insignificant. and knowing that i belong to the Lord, makes me feel silly for getting uppity about such things. i am a woman who is blessed with a loving husband, the best dog and cat you could ask for, an amazing family (near and far), an amazing church family (who i sadly don't visit enough because i'm a lazy git), a roof over my head, more food than i need in my belly, a bed to sleep on, and a job to help pay the bills. life is intense, but i am significantly blessed by those things that are easily forgotten in the heat of the moment.
as you can see... i hope to use this blog as a venting pad. where i can bring my thoughts, write them out and see them for what they are. hopefully when i do that, the Lord will diffuse my fleshly thoughts and fill my heart and mind with what He wants me to hear, think, and know. i cannot guarantee that i will always be super happy and cheerful, but i do guarantee that i will always be real. as for now, i'm walking through the minefields and trusting...
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